days like this

days like this i cant wait to go off to college. shows me how much everyone at the house really care about me. so when i hurt my finger it took over a month for them to take me in to get it checked out and they only took me in because natalie was sick even though it had stayed swollen and i couldnt move it they just kept telling me it was fine. so tonight we ere getting along and joseph kept rubbing the socks i had on. so to move his foot away i moved my foot forwards to get it off my foot. and then of course he starts to cry. then they start yelling at me for kicking him when i didnt kick him. mom and mallory both yelled at me on how i broke his finger. im glad they care when it happens to him and not to me. mom said they didnt know mine had been broken cause yeah not being able to move it and swelling never going down deffently shows its not broken. but the second joseph starts to cry like a little girl and rachel is the bad person. god i feel like everythign and everyone in this house comes before me. no one ever cares abotu me. i dont feel like they apperciate me. i do so much work around here but all anyone ever see is all the wrong things i do. do they care when i clean the whole kitchen and make dinner. no what matters is that one day i dont feel like doing any cleanign because thats all i've been doing all week then i get yelled at for being lazy and not doing anything. i cant wait to get out of here. college couldnt come any faster. i hate that my family makes me feel like shit for every little thing i do wrong. arent they supposed to stand behind you. i feel like they stand behind everyone but me. i will NEVER treat my children as shitty as im treated. i'm tired of being told i dont do any work and i dont deserve any of my allowence. well if i stoped doing all the work i do then this house would be a wreck most of the time. but no they can only point out all the negative things and none of the positive. so thanks family for tongith and reminding me that once im out of here i really dont want to ever come back. i'm going to either go to bed or do somethign else to aviod my family for the rest of the night. NIGHTY NIGHT!

a few more hours

im falling behind in EVRYTHING. i just need more hours. i cant seem to make myself do anywork at home. i dont know what to do. i need to stay after and get help but i never want to. and my parents arent helping me feel any better by yelling at me. grounding doesnt help either. i'll just stay home and sleep and do other things besides homework. urggggg i need to do better. starting tomorrow i'm going to keep up with all my work. im staying after in math to get extra help and i'll get all my stuff done. i need to bring my grades up before graduation. i know im already accepted but it will look bad if i continue to let my grades fall. i just need about 4 more hours in a day. so i can get mroe sleep and im not extremely tired all teh time but also so i have more time to get mroe work done. when i start doiing homework i always think about other things i need to get done, like laundry or cleaning the kitchen or cleaning the living room or bathroom. there is always something besides homework to do. it would be SO MUCH EASIER if other people in my house did more work instead of waiting for it all to magicaly clean itself, well it doesnt work out that way so i end up being the only one cleaning most of the time. i noticed this today when i hadnt cleaned the kitchen sense last week. it was a DISASTER, apparently no one in my house is allowed to clean the kitchen but me because no one else does. none of the other kids clean unless you sit there and yell at them for 5 minutes. im the only one that cleans because i cant stand things being dirty. well i have a lot to do tomorrow and i'm very sleepy. also i just joined www.ehow.com so im hoping that give me more advice on organizing my time and everything else. well i'm off to bed. NIGHTY NIGHT!

warm weather

I'm so excited. today was 75 degrees. i'm way past ready for the warm weather to come. but it is supposed to rain for the next 3 days so i hope that doesnt stop the warmness. o well i wont be here this weekend so i dont care if its rainy. i'm ready to start working on the garden planting flowers fruits and vegetables. i want to try and make a bigger garden this year. last year ours was little so i'm going to talk to mom about letting me make a bigger garden maybe in the back corner of the yard where there isnt any grass but with some miricle grow i think it will make a nice garden. mayeb after school tomorrow i'll go out there and look at it. i really want a big a garden so i can grow a lot. as long as i rememeber to water it everyday ours died last year becauser we went away for a weekend and it died. so i'll have to keep really up wit it this year. figure out something to do. it does get hot and i dont want them to die. i know last year our little garden my mom watered int he morning and i watered in the afternoon. i keep makign these big plans and i hope i cna go through with them. well time to finish getting ready for bed. NIGHTY NIGHT!

so much for early bed

i planed on going to bed early tonight but here i am needing to go to bed and taylor is asking me to help her with her chemistry homework sense i'm the only one in the house who is any good at it. im sleepy and way past ready to go to bed. today i broke my sun glasses so i need to go buy new ones after school thursday before i go up to PA this weekend. tonight's entry is short but i really want to go to bed soon. NIGHT NIGHTY!

To Much Advil

SOOO i decided tonight that i use way to much advil. For every pain i have i take two. i need to start finding other ways to deal with headaches, muscle pains, cramps, and my knee pains without taking advil everytime something hurts. i guess tomorrow i'll look up ways to solve the pain without putting medicine and drugs into my body. mayeb i'll start getting less headaches and pains if i can find other solutions. someone told me once that taking pain relievers doesnt solve the problem it just covers it up, so instead of finding a solution or why it hurts you just covering up the pain and not fixing anything. so i guess thats on my too do list for tomorrow. and tonight i made scrambled eggs with my brown eggs and i must say there was a slight difference. they deffently had more flavor to them then the regular store bought eggs. but i dont want to use them up to fast sense the place i bought them from was 30 minutes away and thats a lot of gas in the burb. i want to try and find a farm that sells them closer to the house and maybe other things, most of the other places i found who sell farm eggs are more exspensive. i bought an 18 pack for $3 and i saw another place sell a dozen for $4. well i'll see what i can do. i would go look at the farmers market this weekend but i'll be in penn for a volleyball tournament so i guess maybe sometime next week or something. the weekend afetr that i'm goign to an open house at Ferrum and to their volleyball open gym sense the coach hasnt been able to see me play yet. well lots of exciting things coming up and im really trying to keep this up to date on the wondrfull uselesss information involved in my life. and i decided even if no one else reads this it makes me feel better by getting my thoughts out there. alright time for bed. NIGHTY NIGHT!

brown eggs

After practice today i went to a small family farm and bought some eggs. i want to eat mroe localy grown foods to help our local economy. this is just the first step and i cant wait to use them. first we have to use up the other eggs we have. i was excited that each egg was a different shade. i hope i can keep buying eggs from this place and maybe some other stuff. i really want to keep a garden this year. last year we were doing wityh our garden and then we went away for a weekend and they all died. so i'm hoping we do better. i would love to have the tomato plants again. and also cucumbers maybe watermelon, i'm not sure what else yet sense we dont have much room to grow stuff but we will see. now that the weather is getting warmer its time to get outside and start clearing out the flower beds and get them ready for this year. i'm exicted for it. i just wish i could keep my own chickens at the houser so we could use our own eggs. when i finaly buy my own house i want to be able to have chickens and goats and a cow. i would love a little farm house and be able to grow all the food my family needs. that would be my dream come true. i'll do what ever i can do to make that happen. if i make all my family's food then i know that they arent eating any bad things added hormones and bad stuff they add. well i'm off to do other stuff. later gator!

college+scholarships=less money out of my pocket

sense next year there will be both me and mallory in college i have been lookign online for scholarships. i foudn this great website for them www.zinch.com but its been annoying me. i have applied for a couple but i cant really find any great ones. i really need the money and i guess i'll look at it more tomorrow when im not sleepy and grumpy. i'm just annoyed with this. i need a zillion more dollars for college or so it seems. with the school grant and tag total pretty much covers almost the whole first two years but that still leaves me with 2 more years to find the money for. i really need to look for more money hidden every where. the school keeps telling us about all these scholarships that go unclaimed well someone where tell me where they are and sign me up for those. i need all the money i can get to help my parents out. with both me and mallory off at college and then 4 kids still at home and bailey and taylor will be in travel volleyball again next year its going to be A LOT of cost my parents will have to be paying for. plus me personally i dont want to have a bunch of student loans to have to pay off when i get out of school. college debt is the last thing i want to think about after my 4 years of college. so i guess tomorrow will be more of searching for all the extra money i can find. but in the end i know it will be worth it. the more money i can find in scholarships the less i have to pay off later. well i'm keeping my fingers cross and praying as hard as i can to be able to find a bunch of scholarships. it would be great if i could get enough to completely pay off everything for freshman year. and after freshman year i'll worry about whats next but right now that is my main focus. all i want to know is why is college so dang exspensive. well i'm off to get ready for bed now. nighty night!

lalala

so our team was supposed to have a tournament Sunday but we didnt make ti in. i got a letter from RMC saying i got accepted. to bad im going to ferrum. that means i made it into all 3 colleges i applied to. yay. so now that im all caught up on English i have to make sure i stay caught up. i need to really puch my self this last semester of my senior year. have to finish cleaning my room tomorrow. i'll probably make bread tomorrow too. got my WoW account active again so i played a little tonight with kevin and will play more tomorrow. lets just hope it doesn't interfere with everything else. i'm just glad its the weekend. i need to get lots of sleep cause i never feel like i sleep enough even though i sleep all the time. well time for bed now im sleepy and have stuff to do tomorrow. if its warm i want to wash the burb. night night!

time goes by

WOW its been a while sense ive posted something. things are crazy. so update. daisy just turned 6 months old. daisy is kevin and my puppy. on the tenth it will be 23 months for us. im going to ferrum in the fall. volleyball is going good. i had torn tendons in my middle finger but thats better. to much stuff. ill try and keep up with this better. there is a picture of daisy at a doggy meetup at the beach. she is getting so big. i need to get more stuff with english done. and i want to start eating better and exercising and trying to walk with freckles every day and so much stuff i want to do i need to stop being so lazy. agggg. its hard to believe that i'll be graduating in a couple months. im getting so old